A New Book on Eating Issues by 25 Year Advice Host and Counselor
Preview and download my new book
"This much I know," said Augustine, "I
should take my food as my medicine."
“I am a better person when I have less on my plate.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
“I am a better person when I have less on my plate.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
This book was originally written a few years
ago when I found out that a good friend was diagnosed with cancer. Since that
time I have continued my spiritual journey and continue to ponder and make
discoveries about our fallen human condition. What I write is the result of my
own searching. I present it with gratitude, and I offer it in the hope that it
will be of help to you.
I recently read a fact sheet from the
American Obesity Association which revealed that one third of Americans are
obese. Another fact sheet discussed the correlation between obesity and
diabetes, kidney problems, and certain types of cancer.
This morning I was paging through a popular magazine at the supermarket
checkout counter, and I saw many pictures and several stories about well known
Hollywood stars suffering from anorexia nervosa, bulimia, weight and dieting
issues, compulsive eating, alcohol or substance abuse.
A person can have no weight issues, no
substance issues, and eat the very best organic food available, and yet be
perfectly miserable. That person will be surprised to discover the very subtle
involvement of food and food substances in their unhappiness and lack of
fulfillment.
Though we must eat to live, we must learn to
eat so that our food does feed what is wrong with us. Because the effect is by
its nature unconscious, it takes a good detective and a very aware observer to
detect its subtle impact on our well being.
For example, the perennial question
"why do good people do bad things?" can be answered in part by the
fact that people often do bad things when they are in a trance. People do wrong
or foolish things when under the spell of emotions or the influence of drugs.
But believe it or not, the mere act of eating has an effect on our
consciousness.
Eating introduces a mild trance state. When we
eat, we are suddenly less aware, less disciplined, and more suggestible. It is
no coincidence that office affairs often begin with an invitation to a cup of coffee
or a lunch.
People exert their will through food. It often
begins at home—where when you accepted mother's food, you also accepted her
will. Is it any wonder that we develop a love hate/relationship with food? Food
represents comfort. Food fills the emptiness. But food also represents
someone's will, and we end up struggling with food through transference, when
what we are really struggling with is the spirit of the one who imposed her
will on us.
A few years ago, Dr. Margo Maine coined the
phrase "father hunger," and in her book Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and Food, she discusses the
importance of father in a child's life.
I have been saying the same thing for 25 years. Love is what we need to
fill the emptiness. Father represents God in the eyes of the child, and when
father is distant, it is to the child as if God is distant. It is resentment
toward our failing father that separates us from our inner ground of good and
leads to and sustains a host of emotional, eating and body image issues.
It is fortunate that resolution and recovery can
take place despite an absent or distant father. Through understanding, we can
learn to forgive our failing father and unloved mother, and through forgiveness
find the love of the Father Spirit within.
We all like sheep have gone astray. We sense
something missing in our lives. We sought the love of the world or the love of
food, but when worldly love and food betray us, we are stuck with seeking more
of the love that does not fulfill, like drinking sea water, or seeking stronger
ways of numbing the pain and filling the emptiness.
Nowhere does the mysterious effect of food
become more evident than when we are faced with a serious health issue. We may
suspect that somehow food was involved in its inception and development, and we
also sense that something about food might be a key to recovery.
Food is subtly involved in the
tragedies of our lives. It also reinforces what we have become and prevents our
finding our true self we might have been. Even the eating of cultural food
somehow contributes to keeping us divided rather than experiencing
unconditional love for and solidarity with our fellow humans from other
traditions.
Though a person does not have an obvious food
issue, he or she is still under the spell of cultural food, as well as misdirections,
and errors associated with a fallen culture and its food. We must understand
food if we are to resolve our issues and find love for one another.
If food has played a role in our cultural
divides, and in our emotional, spiritual and health issues, we may discover the
resolution of our struggle with issues through understanding them in light of
the food connection. Perhaps with understanding, our food might become our
partner in recovery, and we might find the love we have been searching for all
our lives.
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